This past week the chapel speaker talked about his ministry and
how he helps children from gangs, drugs, and those whose parents are in jail.
The part that stood out to me the most was the statistic that 70% of the
children whose parents are incarcerated end up in jail. Seventy percent.
My brother Brandon and I are in this category. This topic hit
home for me because 4 years ago tomorrow, my dad was arrested and has been in
jail ever since. He took someone's life and affected the lives of many. I'm not
writing this to ask for pity but to tell of God's great love and plan for me
far beyond what I deserve.
I am a child of an incarcerated parent. I am a child of a divorced
family. But more importantly, I am a child of the one True King. This week I
have reflected on the past four years of my life. How one decision changed my
future and how God rescued me from myself. See 4 years ago, I was hurt and
bitter towards God. I didn't understand why God allowed this to happen to my
family. My mom had gone through a nasty divorce and Brandon and I grew up in an
abusive home. I've had my share of memories and heartache. Why would He allow
me to suffer again?
It wasn't until a year later at Freedom Weekend, that God brought
me to my knees and reminded me that this life isn't about myself. Romans 8:18
says, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the
glory that will be revealed to us."
God could have taken this heartache away from me but instead He
allowed it to happen for a reason. I still don’t fully understand why He has
allowed it to happen but I know that this situation will bring glory to God if
I allow Him to use me.
This entire passage of Romans points us to the future glory that
is waiting for us. The struggle with having a dad in jail is only a small part
of the life Christ has for me. The struggle of not having my dad around for my
college graduation, wedding, and for my future family is the incredibly difficult
and is a burden I bear every day. But I know that this present suffering is for
a reason.
Romans 8:26 says, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in
our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself
intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." This was me. I didn't
have the words to pray and I sure didn't know what to pray for. But I find
comfort in Christ alone.
Fast forward four years and I am a Junior at Ouachita Baptist
University. I am going to beat that statistic. Instead of letting this category
define my life, I choose to trust in the Creator of the world because He knows
my struggles and He has a bigger plan for me. I may be a child whose parent is
incarcerated but I am a child of God.
